A Letter To Mama

Thursday, April 13, 2006

IN LOVING MEMORY OF JESSIE LUERENE (HEADRICK) COOK
JUNE 28, 1929-APRIL 13,2005

Dear Mama,

Today marks the one year anniversary of your death. In some ways it seems like only yesterday that you left us, and in others it seems like a lifetime. I miss you so much, and I long to see you again, but not in a wildly grieving way........In a "miss you, wish we could catch up on things" kind of way. So many things have happened in the last year. So many changes in my life.

One thing that has changed is that I can't walk down the sidewalk to see you whenever I want to talk and just sit together or share a meal. I treasure the time we had together the last few years of your life, and I can honestly say I have no regrets, nothing left undone that I wish I could go back and do differently.
Another thing that has changed is that I can't call you and ask you about a lot of these old family pictures. Like how old were you in some of them? Who is the guy with your brother, Elmer, in one of them? Is this my great-grandpa, or a great-uncle? Things that are gone now, because only you would know the answers. I think of something every day that I wish I could ask you about. I have even gone so far as to reach for the telephone before I remember you're gone to Heaven to be with Jesus.
Jessica has matured so much during Dad's and your sickness and your passing. I am so proud of her, and I know you were, too. She grew up a lot during that time. A lot of adults wouldn't have been able to handle the things she helped us do in the name of love. The doing of
those things matured her in a way that all the talking and studying in the world cannot do. It was good for her, and she can be proud of doing her part in caring for you and Dad. She is working hard to keep her grades up, and she got that scholarship you told her she could get if she only worked hard for it. She knows that I was the first of your 5 girls to graduate from high school, and she will be the first to graduate from college if she stays on course. She wants to do it for you, Ma. For herself first, but for you, too. You always encouraged her to dream big, and to work toward achieving those dreams. She is still focused on those dreams, Ma. Thank you for always being there for her, and gently pushing her to do her best. The results will live on beyond your time here on this earth.

Thank you, Mama, for passing on your sense of humor to all of us girls and grandkids. You taught by example that humor can go a long way toward making a bad situation more bearable. I was looking for pictures for this memorial page, and in almost every single one, you're either laughing or smiling. You taught us that there is almost always something funny to laugh about in any situation. Thank you for that, Mama, it has helped so much to relive the happy memories we all made together as we emptied out your and Dad's apartment and divided up your life amongst the girls and our families. So few material things to represent the rich heritage of love you left to all of us. You may not have been rich by worldly standards, but by God's standards you were rich beyond measure. The legacy of Christian living you leave behind is priceless. Money cannot buy the raising you gave us girls, and the influence you have been on your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. If we bring shame on you, it's not because we weren't taught better. Thank you for that, Mama.

I think I miss you more at church and on Sundays than any other time, Ma. Sundays and holidays were always our gathering times. Even those who didn't go to church always gathered at your house for Sunday dinner and catching up with family happenings. You were such a good cook and I still cherish learning to cook under your watchful eye. One of the best compliments anyone can pay me is to brag on my cooking, or say something I made is as good as something you used to make. That is truly high praise, in my book. Looking over the pictures as I was gathering photos for this tribute, I noticed that many of them are taken at the dinner table, with the remnants of the meal spread out before us. One of the things I learned from you is that preparing good food for our loved ones is a way to show love to them. It's a gift from our hearts, made by our hands, and given with love. Thank you for allowing me to learn from you, Mama.

Music was always a big part of our lives too, Ma, and I thank you for that. All kinds of music, but especially country music and gospel music. When I tried out for choir at school, you encouraged me. You sacrificed to buy me the dresses and outfits I needed when I made Madrigals and Sweet Adelines, our version of girl's barbershop. No Mama could have been any prouder when I made All-Region Choir, then All-State Choir. You sacrificed to come up with money when we went to choir festivals and had to stay in a motel overnight, and most of the time you chaperoned, too. Other kids hated it when their Mom's chaperoned, but I loved it that you came with me. I spent more time with you than the girls my age. We always had so much fun together. Always.....................Thank you for that, Mama.

Those Sunday afternoons often turned into church for us. We'd drag out the old songbooks and sing our hearts out. Dad's favorite song was "The Haven Of Rest", sometimes called "I've Anchored My Soul". You always wanted to sing "Mansion Over The Hilltop". Mine and your song to sing as a duet was "Suppertime", and I get weepy when I hear it now. Oh, the happy memories those songs bring back to me. The torch has been passed. Jessica sang "The Haven Of Rest" for Dad's funeral, and she sang for yours, too. She played the piano for herself both times, too. I wish you could have heard her play the piano before you left us, but you were so sick the last several months that you couldn't go to church. You were faithful as long as your health allowed you to go, though, and you set the example, even if some of us choose not to follow it. Thank you for that, too, Mama.

A year. A year without my Mama to talk to, to laugh with, to sing with, to cry with, to visit with and fellowship with. I can hardly wait to see you again, Mama. I miss you so much, but I thank you for teaching me and leading me the right way to go, and setting a Christian example to follow. I know you are with Jesus now, and I know I am going to be with you again soon. Daddy's probably jealous that I wrote to you first, but I didn't have this blog on the anniversary of his death, so I will write to him on December 19th. Just hang on, Old Coot, you'll get your letter soon.

I LOVE YOU, MAMA.

DIANE

Tuesday's Gone With The Wind......

And it was sho' 'nuff windy today, with gusts over 35 mph! Partly cloudy and warm, high of 75 today. Other than the WINDY conditions, it was very pretty here.

Blogger has been more cooperative this evening. He let me edit that last post and finally add the pic I wanted to add last night, and I had no trouble uploading the photo to the left, there. This one is of Mom, Dad and all the girls, taken on their anniversary in March, 1986. Top row from the left: Cecil, Ducky, Zztop, Joe (Diane). Bottom row from left: Ma, Sue and Pa. This was taken in the house mentioned in the last post, the one that burned less than a year later, on February 9, 1987.

I have a lot of pictures that were taken at that house, and when the family gathers at my place on Sunday afternoons and holidays, we occasionally look through my photos and reminisce about the past, precious memories and happy times from the past. More than the furniture and things of that nature that we lost, we more often talk about the pictures and keepsakes that were irreplaceable that we lost. Most of all, though, we were so blessed that nobody was injured or lost their lives in the fire. The fire caught in the attic and the house was literally burning down around them, and they had no idea. A passing neighbor stopped and yelled for them to get out, the house was on fire. By that time, the back of the house was falling in, and thankfully, everybody was in the kitchen and living room in the front of the house. Mom, Dad, Sue, Cecil, Ducky and Jerry, her husband, barely got out before the house was fully engulfed in flames. They just had the clothes on their backs. Everything else was lost. They managed to save the 2 dogs and 3 cats, though one of the cats kept running back into the burning house after being tossed outside, and later died of smoke inhalation.

We were indeed blessed, and we know it. At the time we were devastated, and we still mourn the loss of some family memorabilia and pictures and such, but we truly realize that God blessed us through the storm, even though He didn't keep the storm from us.

Onward to the news of the day. Cecil and Sue came up for a while this afternoon, and we played our game for a couple of hours. Still working on the new blogs, but I haven't done too much today on it, besides scan some pics. I have to take a break now and then or I burn out on it. I have something special planned for Thursday on this blog, and I will be working on it on Wednesday to have ready for posting on Thursday. Watch this space. ;-)

Green Eyes informs me that she lives in Newfoundland, Canada, not in Toronto. For some unknown reason, her location is listed as Toronto on my sitemeter. Hmmmmm....................only the Blogger knows, I suppose.

It is getting late, and I want to make my rounds of your blogs and mine, to survey for new posts and comments. I wish everyone a happy Wednesday, and Blessings to everyone. :-) Diane

Demon Blogger Strikes Again........

UPDATE: Success!! New post to follow shortly. :)

I have been trying, to no avail, to add a photo to this post for at least 3 hours. Blogger not only refuses to cooperate, he is just plain insulting about it. He just grinds away, promising he's adding my photo, and never delivering on his promise. Anybody else having difficulties with posting pics today? Rats.................Maybe later he will relent and let me post some pics. Maybe..............

Cecil, Sue, Lamar and I went to Trumann today and ate Chinese for lunch, then on to Walmart for a little shopping. After that, back to my place for the rest of the afternoon. We just visited and chit-chatted until about 5:15, and I went back to Trumann with them. We dropped Sue off at her abode, and Cecil treated me to Subway for supper. We had a WMU meeting tonight at church, which is our women's missionary group. Ducky brought me home afterwards. We had a good time, and made plans for a fundraiser and agreed to buy some bookmarks to pass out to all the Moms on Mother's Day.

Poor Green Eyes, she left me a comment on my last post. They are still having snow in her part of the world. I believe she told me once she lives in Toronto, Canada. I told her to hang on, Spring should be there soon, hopefully. It was pretty here again today, sunny, breezy and 69 degrees Fahrenheit for a high. I suppose I should say yesterday, as it's now almost 4 in the morning on Tuesday. :-)

I am getting very sleepy, for some reason. I am going to try one more time to post a pic on here. If it's on here when you read this, you'll know I was successful, and if not, Demon Blogger is still throwing a tantrum. ;-(
More later today, hopefully.

UPDATE: Finally, the photo, as promised. This pic is dated August 1969, and Cecil, on the left, is 4 years old. I was 5 in this pic, turned 6 that October. That's my Daddy sitting on the steps, and a very Ex-brother-in-law in the porch swing. Notice the old Pontiac behind us? Cecil Did. Not. Want. her picture taken. Notice I am gently holding onto her arm so she will stand still for the pic. :-)

This is one of my favorite photos of us as kids, and one very few that remain. Mom and Dad's house burned in 1987, and they lost everything but what they had on their backs at the time. Cecil was still living at home, too, and lost everything. All of our family pictures burned up, except for what the older sisters had, and other family and friends happened to have. I cherish the few photos we have left. I suppose that is why I have so many pictures in prints, on CD's and floppies. And soon, on a photo blog. Working on that, coming soon.

A Good Day, It Was............

Be sure you say that title in your best Yoda voice, now. :)

It's been a good day, but tiring. Church was good, and we had one saved this morning, and baptised him and 2 others tonight. Services were good this morning and tonight. We had singing tonight, and no sermon. We had several "specials", and Ducky, Cecil, Sue and I sang "Mansion Over The Hilltop", for those of you who might know it.

For lunch, we went to Danny and Mikki's for grilled burgers and hot dogs. They were great, and it was a beautiful day for it. Not a cloud in the bright blue sky, and about 65 degrees. Just a little breezy, had to watch to keep the napkins and foam plates from blowing away in the breeze, but all in all, a gorgeous day here in Northeast Arkansas. We ate out on D and M's deck on their wrought iron patio table and chairs. Food just tastes better prepared and eaten outdoors. Life is good.........

Still working feverishly on the 3 new blogs. Okay, pretty steady, not exactly feverishly. Sundays are always busy for me, so I get no blogging done until after I get home from church Sunday night, and usually I am too tired to link any 2 thoughts together by then. I will be working pretty consistently on them for the next little while, though. One thing about me, I am a paradox of sorts. I procrastinate with the best of them sometimes, but when I DO start something, I usually stay at it until I get it done, sometimes to the exclusion of everything else, including silly things like rest and sleep. Of course, after so long a time without rest, I start making so many mistakes I'm better off leaving the project alone until I get some sleep. I usually do well with a deadline, it tends to keep me focused on the business at hand.

I will still be making the rounds getting my daily blogger fix from everyone, and posting here. I won't be so busy I forget ya'll, or that I neglect posting on this blog. I can be a multi-tasker, you know..............Maybe not a good multi-tasker, but I am going to give it a good try. Surely if I can prepare a meat and three sides and get everything done at the same time, I can work on this blog and 3 others while reading and commenting on all my blogger favorites simultaneously. Surely.................Maybe.................Perhaps....................Hmmmmmm.............
We shall see, I suppose. :-)

Well, it's almost 11:30 pm, it's been a long day, and Diane is TARD again, so I will bid you a fond adieu until tomorrow..........Fond Adieu...... :-)