House Cleaning & Vacuum Cleaner Innards

It's been a while, but I know I've discussed the fact here on the blog that my husband, Lamar is disabled due to cerebral palsy from birth trauma. Because Lamar's permanently disabled we are fortunate enough to live in apartments for the elderly and handicapped. They are government subsidized but they are not part of the Fed*ral Housing Auth*rity.

Because the apartments are in part financed though the government, our landlord is required to submit to an annual inspection of the premises by government inspectors. That includes the grounds and outside of the apartments to make sure everything is maintained and in good repair and also includes inspection of the inside of the apartments. They usually choose only 2 or 3 units to actually go inside and physically inspect to confirm that all the appliances, lights, plumbing and such are in good repair, etc.

In the almost 22 years that my hubby and I have lived here our apartment has only been inspected one time. Our landlord usually tries to steer the inspectors to a certain few apartments. He has some pets who are Martha Stew*art wannabe's and he does his best to lead the inspectors to their apartments. Which is a good thing, in my opinion, since I've seen a picture of Martha and I know she does some kind of show and has a magazine about, um.....maybe housekeeping and perhaps cooking, but we are not best friends forever.

The point that I'm so subtly trying to make is that I am not fond of cleaning house, and my apartment testifies to that fact. Now my apartment isn't listed with the Environ*mental Protec*tion Agency as a hazardous site as far as I know, but it'll never make the centerfold of Martha Stew*art Living either. If it has a centerfold. I've honestly never seen a copy of the magazine.

Even though we have only been inspected once in 22 years, our landlord wants everyone to have their apartment as clean and orderly as possible just in case they're inspected.

Another point that I've rabbit chased all around without actually stating is that our annual inspection is coming up next week. Say Thursday-ish or Friday-ish, give or take a day.....ish. And so Lamar and I are trying to get some housecleaning projects done that may have been neglected a tad. Between now and next Wednesday I have several things that need to be addressed in addition to my everyday tasks.

Things like:

**Really scrubbing my cookstove and not just giving it a lick and a promise.
**Sweeping, mopping and waxing my kitchen floor and utility room floor.
**Giving the bathroom a good cleaning, mopping and waxing the floor, and scouring the tub.
** Dusting, decluttering, moving furniture out and vacuuming my living room.
**Other things that escape me since I'm trying to organize them for this post.

Lamar is helping me with a lot of these things and I am so thankful for his help. Between us we've been doing some of the projects in stages so we're not overwhelmed and I don't overdo it trying to get it all done at the last minute.

Tuesday evening I pulled my dining table out and moved the chairs so Lamar could give it a good going over with the vacuum. I had moved out of the way and came in here to the computer so he could vacuum without interference (okay, I was reading blogs and commenting, allright? Sheesh!) when I noticed that the vacuum was making a weird shrieking noise. I went to investigate the cause and Lamar pointed out that not only did the vacuum sound like a cat in a blender, it also wasn't picking up anything off the carpet.

Is there anything that sucks worse than a vacuum that won't suck?

Which leads us to the "vacuum cleaner innards" portion of this post.

I don't in any way mean to imply that my man isn't a manly man, but let's just say that Lamar's talents do not lie in the handyman direction and just leave it at that.

I, however, was a tomboy and I like working on cars and do-it-yourself projects and gadgets, oh my. Anything around here that needs minor repairs or involves electricity, appliances, gadgetry or Southern engineering falls in my territory.

That meant that I was the one who would learn more about the guts and innards of my vacuum cleaner than I particularly wanted to know. I have a Dirt*Devil Visions vacuum just like the one in the picture there. Except mine is black if that matters to you and you like to keep the details true to life in your mental picture.

Anyway, bright and earlier this morning than I really want to think about, I got intimately acquainted with the inner workings of my vacuum cleaner. The shrieking part of its symptoms was actually pretty easy to diagnose: a broken belt and a half gallon of hair, fuzz and string wound around the beater brush. A few screws and a plastic plate out of the way, it was relatively easy to remove the brush and reinstall the beater brush. I lost some skin off my knuckles stretching that belt to reinstall it, though.

A *NOTE* here: To Whom It May Concern: If you have long hair, it's a good idea to check the beater brush on your vacuum now and then. Between Jessica and me both living here and having long hair for a long time, the brush on my vacuum was hairier than Cousin It. It took me a good 30 minutes to pull all the hair, fuzz and string out of the brushes and I removed enough of the stuff to almost fill a half gallon pitcher. No wonder it wouldn't pick up anything!

(Why a half gallon pitcher you ask? Because for some reason it was behind my dining table up against the wall when I moved the table and chairs to vacuum. I have no idea when or how it got there, but it made a handy receptacle for the hairy mess, okay?)

I put all the innards and guts back in order and cranked up the vacuum to try 'er out. Hmm....now it seemed to be picking up the dirt, but then it was blowing back out from under the vacuum instead of being, you know, sucked into the container as it should have been.

Dang. I just got all the innards put back and now I had to open up the patient again. I removed a few more screws and another plastic plate and tried to run a straightened metal coat hanger through the dirt path into the dust container but it was obstructed. A few more hearty pokes at it and I dislodged the obstruction. All manner of dirt, dead grass, fuzz, hair and assorted nastiness came fogging out of there, along with a larger item which at first was unrecognizable. I poked at it with the coat hanger until I could finally make out that it was a furry mouse cat toy. It had lodged in the dirt path and everything backed up behind it.

Can anyone please tell me, how can you miss a life-size furry mouse cat toy when it's right in front of you? I don't even want to think about what else Lamar and Jessica may have sucked into my poor vacuum cleaner over the last few years.

After replacing all the innards and closing up the patient once more, I fired up the vacuum one more time and now it's sucking like a brand new model.

It's amazing what replacing a broken belt and removing a half gallon of hair and a life-size furry mouse cat toy from a vacuum will do for its operating abilities.

I'm proud to say that once again we're at full sucking capacity here at Diane's Place.

Hope y'all are having a good week. :-)