Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Greetings From Grandma Diane

Yes, you read that title correctly. Jessica and Jason informed me and Lamar last week that if all goes well, they will be making us grandparents in May. Jessica has some very serious female problems and her gynecologist had just told her in August that she could never have children without first having surgery, and possibly not even after surgery. I told her that was bull malarkey. She chose to believe the doctor and wasn't using protection. Mama was right; the doctor was wrong.

Soooo.....in addition to adding a new grandbaby to the family in May, we will also be adding a son to the family in December. Jessica and Jason are getting married in December. They are looking for an apartment in the meantime. So, along with helping them get set up in housekeeping, we will be planning for a little bundle of joy in late spring of 2007.

They are ecstatic over this baby, and I am, too. They know how I feel about premarital sex and getting the cart before the horse. That's all been said and now we're moving on past that. What's done is done, water under the bridge. Now I'm just happy about getting a son and a grandbaby, all in one package. If they're happy, Mama's happy. It will be hard on them both, especially since Jason is in his senior year of high school. He's working after school and on the weekends, and Jessica is working almost full time, too. She plans to work as long as possible, barring complications with her pregnancy and all goes well.

Another change is that Jessica will be quitting college at semester. She was already talking about quitting before she found out about the baby. Her grades are just not good enough to keep her scholarship. The psychology classes she is taking are second and third year classes and she just can't keep her grades up to the 3.0 grade level she needs to keep her scholarship. Without her scholarship she can't afford to pay her own tuition, so she doesn't really have a choice. Now, making a living and a home for the baby she's expecting comes first. Although this is not the path I would have chosen for her life, this is not about me, it's about what's right for Jessica, Jason and Peanut, as they're already calling the baby. We already knew that if Jessica wanted children, she needed to have them while she's young. The older she gets, the less the chance she'll be able to conceive. So on the one hand, while I wish they'd waited until they were married and settled, preferably after they got their college education, on the other hand, if they had waited, she might not have been able to get pregnant. As the situation stands, it's almost a miracle that she is pregnant. It will be difficult, but they can make it if they work hard and love each other enough to work at this marriage and raise this baby.

I won't say here who it was, but a certain family member was very hurtful and judgmental towards Jessica for being pregnant outside of marriage. The words spoken can never be taken back, and Jessica is wounded to the quick. She will never have the love and respect for that person that she did before those cutting words were spoken. Their relationship may be patched, but will never be the same as before. Jessica knows what she and Jason did was wrong in the eyes of God, but they are trying to do the right thing and be responsible. I haven't spoken to this person since the incident happened, but I pray I can have a Christian attitude when I do. When you hurt my kid, you done messed up, let me tell you! That person better be very careful, because I'm loaded for bear! I have some things to say, but I want to do it in a Christian way, if at all possible. I have to try to live by one of the things I'm always quoting to Jessica: "Two wrongs don't make a right." Lord, guard my mouth and help me say what needs to be said without giving Satan a foothold and making a bad situation worse, I pray.

A new phase of Jessica's and Jason's life is about to begin, and with it, a new phase for me and Lamar. Grandma and Grandpa. I can't wait to hold that baby in my arms. And I get a new son in the bargain, too. I hope Jason and I have a great relationship. I already love him like he's my own, and I want to be a good mother in love. There'll be a lot of changes around here in the near future. I pray God will bless Jessica and Jason as they begin their married life, and I pray for a healthy grandbaby.

Right now, life is good. Thank you, Lord, for your blessings.

30 comments:

mombo said...

Wow, what a combination of emotions you have right now. Jessica and Jason will have their fair share of consequences and they will certainly need your love and support. I'm so glad you've given it. I know how difficult it is to walk through the offense against your child and how tempting it is to lash out. I'll be praying for you. I know it hurts. Our home group is doing a Bible study called, "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere, which is all about offense. If and when you are ready, you might pick it up. Though he gets so personal and in my business sometimes that I have to say, "You quit preachin' and went to meddlin'!" You do get the joy of a grandbaby and I will certainly be praying for a safe pregnancy and delivery. I don't have any grandbabies yet, but I figure they're the best part of being a parent.

momteacherfriend said...

What's done is done!
There are three lives that needs all the love and support they can get right now.
Praise God for He is good! all life is to be celebrated. So grow strong little peanut, looking forward to meeting you in the Spring.

Sue said...

When you said you had news, you really meant it!
I'm sure you have a million emotions going on.
This new little Peanut will bring changes to so many lives and untold joy to each of you.
He was meant to be, or he wouldn't be here at all....
((hugs))

Nasty Nashe said...

WOW, Di!!!

a lot has happened.... woah D you have no dea how much this blows me away. haha. i feel so involved somehow! hehehehe.


i wanna say more but i'm SUPER DUPER busy at the moment. maybe i'll send u an email.

love love,
_Nashty_

Dawn said...

Please e-mail me so I can have your address. You can click on my address on my site. Thanks!

Kathleen Marie said...

Congratulations to you all. Our daughter just had my first granddaughter in July and the cart was indeed before the horse and hurtful words were spoken by idiots... Only God can be the true judge of things... but I know that all baby's are a blessing from the Lord. Our little Alexys is a treasure and has blessed us all! I am so very, very happy for you all!

Anonymous said...

Di,

After reading this, I have to tip my hat to you. Your response to this situation; and all the emotion that ensued, was absolutely textbook. One, it's refreshing to hear how you responded to Jessica after hearing about her leaving school, the baby, and -- eventually -- young marriage.

"Although this is not the path I would have chosen for her life, this is not about me, it's about what's right for Jessica, Jason and Peanut"

Many parents sadly don't realize where their control stops and their child's maturation begins. While I think it's important to raise your child to be as close to God as possible, the ultimate move is on the child. This isn't to say that Jessica and Jason aren't walking with God (just talking to her briefly, I can sense the devotion she has God and YOU!); it's just that she's walking on a different path than you. The life that you led worked for YOU; the life that she will lead works for HER.

All you can do is stay strong in the Word, continue to proclaim God, speak to YOUR faith (1 Peter 3:15), while being loving, kind, and respectful to others, Jess especially.

All you can do now is to continue supporting, loving, and guiding Jess, Jason, and the kid; as they continue to lean and depend on God's grace.

Now, as it relates to the other person in question; I know from experience that forgiveness is the easiest to give to a person who comes at us with apology and humility. But even if that person doesn't, the Bible still reminds us that we need to forgive them...without condition. This isn't to say that you need to make the situation "peachy" with that person, but you certainly don't want to build a wall a resentment. NOBODY ON THIS EARTH IS WORTH DAMAGING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.

For what it's worth, I'm proud of you.

Barb said...

Everything that I wanted to say has been said in these very wise comments. So what I WILL say is congratulations, Diane. A new son and a new baby are huge blessings.

What we all need to do is pray for this young couple, their new marriage, their pregnancy and their precious baby.

I'm thrilled to death for you and Lamar, too Becoming a grandparent is something that I still can't describe without getting choked up.

Blessings to all of you. And I can't even say I'm particularly proud of you. Your whole response to this is not surprising to me in the least, my friend. xoxoxo

"The Glenifer" said...

Wow! That is big news, Diane!

I know this is unexpected, but it is certainly a blessing. People make mistakes, but God doesn't, if he's chosen to add a new life to your family, then nobody else has a right to judge. Don't let someone's negativity take one minute away from your joy.

Jessica is lucky to have such unconditional love and support from you. I'm so happy for y'all!

Congrats Grandma!
-Jenn:)

Linda said...

I think you are handling this all very wisely. In a very short time all that will really matter is that precious grandbaby.
I'm sorry someone had to be hurtful. You're right. Those words can never be taken back. We are so foolish to make judgements like that. There but for the grace of God go any of us in one way or another.
Be blessed. I know they will need your love and wisdom more than ever. Just wait till you hold that sweet little bundle!

Big Mama said...

Congratulations Diane. Jessica is indeed blessed to have you for her mama.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful demonstration of grace! You have done for your child what God does for us when we stumble.
I pray that she and Jason will learn from your example as they navigate their way through marriage and parenthood, that as they commit their lives to one another their commitment to the Lord will grow ever stronger, and that they will know the fullness of His blessings upon them.

Bless you, Diane, and congratulations to the parents-in-law/grandparents-to-be! I will be praying you through this as well.

PEA said...

So can I start calling you Grandma Diane now??? lol What wonderful news and I wish Jessica and Jason the very best!! They will indeed need to be strong and have a lot of faith but with a mama like you behind them, they will succeed:-) It's a shame other people have to stick their nose where it doesn't belong but you'll always get those that can't hold their tongue! Their words will come back to haunt them. Never mind, you just concentrate on your daughter, future son in law and brand new little baby that before you know it will be in your arms:-) Bless you all!! Hugs xox

green eyed girl on planet earth said...

Hello Grandma D.
First and foremost I will include this little peanut in my prayers , and as peanut comes to face the
world , we know peanut will be welcomed and loved by a great family .Your way of dealing with all the issues here are wonderful ,and if Jessica has learned anything ,she must have learned what a great Mother you are ,and will be one herself if she takes your example ,your mindset here lets us know your going to be a wonderful GRANDMA .

As far as the negative POOPER !

He who is without sin cast the first stone ,

what is done is done and no use in saying any hurtful things , no offense but if they have nothing good to say or helpful , they should shut their YAPPER !I wonder if this person has ever fallen in life ? someone needs to tell them
: always Keep your words both tender and sweet for you do not know when you shall to eat them !

wishing all the best in the world friend , for all of you !
and for some reason I can t get the song
"found a peanut ,found a peanut ,found a,,,,,,,,,,..

Biggest Squishiest HUGS ever
Greeneyes

Paulette said...

Hey Diane,
When we become parents unconditional love is a big part of parenting. When our kids grow up they become responsible for there choices. We as Parents support and love even if it isn't what we would do. You are correct, whats done is done. God is the only one who has the right to judge our actions,Gods word tells us to love unconditionally and not judge another person.
How can a miracle like a baby be a mistake, it's not only God has control over life, and I guareentee you, he knew about this conception long before even Jessica did.
I am excited for you, and will pray for a healthy baby.

Jen said...

CONGRATULATIONS to U and them
children are a blessing from the Lord

Nasty Nashe said...

Just like Andre, i'm proud of you too, D.
what's done is done, no? If we keep harping on the past, we'll never move on. We'll never know what happens if we make the best of the situation. Say Hi to Jess for me! hehe.
(from a very weird 17 yr old Singaporean girl)

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

Diane, whoever Andre is, he's one wise man. I'd second everything he said. Praying for your daughter and future SIL and baby. xooxox

Dawn said...

So - are you going to change the name of your blog to "Call Me Grandma Diane?"

Judith said...

I so admire your love and caring and your courage. This young couple is so blessed to have you in their corner.

I realize it's easy for me to say this, for it wasn't my feelings that were hurt, but do not let someone else's thoughtlessness or even non caring comments rob you of the good things about this situation. Even though people sometimes say things they shouldn't, Phil. 4 still reigns.

mouse said...

Diane in reading your blog I learned a lot from you. I have 3 kids, (a 19 year old in love with a girl he has been dating for 2 years, a 17 year old that is not dating yet and a 14 year old BOY CRAZY daughter. I have worried so much over what if one of them gets pregnant (or gets a girl pregnant), what would people say. I have thought my response would be anger because I don't want people talking about us in whispers, I want my son to finish college and get married first, I don't want to have to raise my daughters child as a parent but to be able to love that child as a grandmother. But after reading what you wrote it has made me rethink everything. I love my kids and even if they make different decisions from me or make a mistake I am still going to love them so I am not going to let other people drive my decisions or have me judge my own kids. You handled it with love and that is what I hope I can remember if I am ever in that situation.

Connie and Rob said...

It is time to move forward. I wish all the best for Jessica, Jason and little Peanut. They will do fine with your love behind them.

Hugs,
Connie

RennyBA said...

How exciting and thrilling and great – congrats for soon being a grandma and how sweet couple. Give them a good hug and greetings all the way from Norway too!
I kind of envy you and am looking forward to have the same message one day. You don’t want to push your children, but it is something to look forward to of course. No wonder you feel life is good and I do hope it stay that way forever for you, your children and the baby to come:-)

Tammy said...

Oh Diane!!!!
Congratulations Girl!!!
No matter how it happened they are trying to do right...just love em up...they will need it to get them through!!
What a blessing...I'm so proud for you and wish I could give you a real good (((hug)))
:-D
PS...I know what you mean about the relative or anybody that crossed your kid...I've always said say anything you want to about me but keep your words and your hands off my kids or you will pay...now that is some kind of attitude isn't it??
May those that love us,
Love us,
And those that don't love us break their ankle,
So we may know them by their limping...
HeHe!!

kim said...

. . .and what a great bloggy world of friends you have!

many prayers for the new parents, grandparents and extended family that all would come to peace with the future before you.

I thank God each and every day that He sees His own childern as pure and clean through the blood of Jesus. Thank Him daily we do not have to walk any road alone, He is our very present help in trouble, our strength in time of need and our Comforter when we are feeling alone.

I can tell you have thought much and prayed much about all of these new circumstances. Keep turning to Jesus in the good and the bad times. He has all the answers and more.

Tell Jessica to keep her chin up, some of us have the unique priveledge of having everyone know our sin and the unique ability to rise above it so everyone will know where our strength indeed comes from. Sometimes even when our actions are not what we would like them to be, our reactions speak much louder and clearer than anything could have to start with.

No great words of wisdom here, just lots of love and prayers coming over to you.

(((((hugs)))))

Granny said...

Congratulations and I certainly understand your mixed feelings.

I hope all goes well for them. It's a huge adjustment but they'll have your love and support which will mean so much.

Dick said...

There indeed has been some good thoughts expressed here. Grandkids are wonderful. I recently doubled my Grandkid count from 3 to 6 when my older son married a gal who has 3 of her own. They are all neat kids and so much fun to have in the family. You will love being a Grandma! And as an added bonus, you are young enough to really get involved in the life of the new one.

Lee-ann said...

what a beautiful post. many blessings to your family for this very special news how wonderful it is that mother knew when others did not. :o) mothers are just such wonders of the world arn't we! lol lol lol.

so nice to read your blog again Diane and I will be back again real soon.

best wishes to all.
Lee-ann

Sarah's In the Midst of It said...

Congratulations, Diane! What a testimony your daughter has already become, choosing life in the midst of the unexpected, when many others would've taken the "easy" way out. Blessings to all!

(And thank you for your sweet, thoughtful comments on my posts--your words are always seasoned with grace, and I enjoy reading them.)

Anonymous said...

Wow, Diane...you are so strong, and such a support for both Jessica and Jason. Why are family members so hurtful sometimes? I'm sure I'm not perfect, but I usually know when I am being a...stinker, for lack of a better word. Congrats to you guys - I love hearing pregnancy/baby stories!