Saturday, June 24, 2006

Welcome, Down Time and An Old Post Revisited


Hello, blogger friends and family. I have several things to tell you about. First, I have added 3 new links in my sidebar. Welcome to Summer from Today's Thoughts, Leslie from
Into Australia and Bobby from Fisherman For Christ ! Please make them welcome. Summer is a single Christian woman and is looking for other single Christian women bloggers. Leslie and her family recently moved from Texas to Australia and are just now settling in. Bobby is a preacher and fisherman from Beaufort, South Carolina who has just recently started blogging. Please visit these bloggers and leave them an encouraging comment.
I'm about to shut down and attempt to switch over my hard drive to a new one. I don't know how long I'll be down, it's according to how much techie stuff I run into that I'm absolutely clueless about. If nothing else, hopefully if I run into difficulties, I can just hook up the old hard drive again until I have some techie help from zztop, Johnny or Ducky. Between the 4 of us, we can usually figure things out. That's if I don't do something totally stupid like I did back in January when I was offline for a month and had to pay the computer geek from the local high school to fix my puter. Actually, in my defense, it was a compatibility problem between a printer and my modem, but I didn't have the computer skilz to know that at the time. Live and learn, I suppose. The printer took over the port and drivers from my modem and I knew it, but I didn't know how to fix it. Cost me $20 to get it fixed, and I figure I got off cheap.. On another note, and in the interest of amusing you and humiliating myself while I'm completing my techie mission, I'm bringing back a post from February for your blogging pleasure. Some of my first blogging friends will remember it, but I hope you enjoy reading it again. For my newer blogging friends, I hope you enjoy it, and maybe it will stave off the withdrawals until I get back online. Not that I'm, like, super popular or anything like that, but I have withdrawals when my blogging friends don't post regularly, and by your comments I know you wonder about me when I'm in-blog-nito for a while. So, in the interest of keeping you temporarily amused, here's my post originally from February 16, 2006. Enjoy, y'all.............


For those outside the immediate family, there are a few pertinent facts you should know about me:

1.) You may have heard of pleasingly plump? Well, I am rudely fat. Nuff said?

2.) My Mama and Daddy had nicknames and pet names for all us girls. The baby, Lisa, was known as "Cecil",
"Winky"........Me? Well, I was "Joe" and "The Bulldozer".......

3.) I am usually pretty steady on my feet, but WHEN I fall, I do it right, folks.

I go to a Southern Baptist Church, and my story begins about 20 years ago. I was song leader in my church. Song service was over, and the preacher was gathering his notes, bible, etc. to take my place at the pulpit. I was dressed in heels and a mid-length dress. Our microphone was on a stand just off the platform, with the wiring loose on the floor trailing from it. Can you see where I am going with this? As I stepped down the 6 inches or so from the platform, my fashionable high-heel caught a loop of the microphone wire and I very ungracefully somersaulted the 100 yards to the prayer benches that stopped my human derailment. Well, it seemed like a hundred yards, but it was only about 6 feet. If a fat girl could die of embarassment, they would have been preaching my funeral that Tuesday. There was a collective gasp when I started falling, and as I lay sprawled inelegantly on the goose-doo green carpeting with my dress over my head, a few kind souls started from their pews to see if I was okay. But not one of them was my loving family........Oh, no.........You see, they were snorting and guffawing and rolling uncontrollably in various positions on the pews. The only thing hurt was my pride, and it's a good thing, because my loving family would have been absolutely no help that day. I have no idea what the sermon was about that Sunday Morning, and I doubt anybody else there that day could have told you, either.

Thank you, Lord, for pettipants and slips.

Another time, almost a repeat of the above story, I was walking into the sanctuary from the back of the auditorium, carrying my purse in one hand and my bible in the other. I was dressed in heels and a dress, and the purse had handles and a long shoulder strap. I was carrying it by the handles, and the shoulder strap was hanging lower than I realized. I hooked my heel in the strap and rolled all the way to the front pews, this time, with similar reaction from my loving family and fellow Christian brothers and sisters. Only my pride was hurt, again, but almost anyone at my church can tell you about that moment.

Thank you, Lord, for pettipants and slips.

The most recent incident happened during Christmas season, 2004. Our Women's Missionary Union usually goes Christmas carolling every year, and I usually go up to the house and knock on the doors, then lead the chosen Christmas song. We had already been out for some time and had made several stops. It was cold, dark, and several of the ladies had remarked that nature was calling for them. As I approached the porch, it was too dark to see that Sis. Betty's porch had one step leading up to a concrete pad. I didn't see the see the concrete pad and walked right into it, stubbing my toes on the porch and falling flat over on my considerable stomach and my face. The pastor's wife, whom I had went to school with and have known our entire lives, Ducky, Susie and Lisa (my sisters), and the rest of my loving, caring Christian sisters, went hysterical, and not a single one of them came to my aid as I lay there flat on my face on the cold concrete. My OLDEST sister, (ha! got you!) Sue, was leaned over the hood of Sis. Betty's car with her knees crossed, trying not to wet her drawers while she howled like a hyena, and the rest of the women were in similar poses, cackling like a bunch of demented chickens. Got this mental picture set in your mind? Now, in the midst of this, Sis. Betty hears the insane racket outside and comes to the door. She opened the door, saw the other ladies in various positions, convulsed with laughter, but she didn't see me until one of the ladies pointed to me, sprawled on the porch in front of her. She was one confused lady. Finally, some of the sisters of both persasions gathered themselves enough to come check on me. I didn't know it at the time, but I barked my left shin on that concrete pad, and it took 3 months to heal. I still have an ugly scar from it. To this day, if anybody mentions carolling, or Sis. Betty, or almost anything remotely related to that night, they start howling with laughter. All three of my sisters say that even if I had broken a leg and had bones sticking out, they would still have laughed, then come to my rescue. Yeah. Right. Maybe.......

Okay, that's all I have, friends. Hope I'm not offline for too long, and hope y'all are having a good weekend. Maybe this will hold you till I get back.

Love and blessings to all,

Diane :-)


Sister said...

Hi Diane,
Looks like you've been busy since I last visited...yes, I've been away - if you haven't noticed! :)
I'm looking forward to reading and catching up. I'm impressed with everything that's been added to your page. Hope everything goes well with your new computer!

Diane said...

Hey, Sister! Yes, I knew through BooMama that you'd been globe-hopping. Hope you had a great trip, and glad to see you home. :-)

And as you can see, I've already got the new puter up and running, praise the Lord! So far, knock on wood, everything has went well, but I don't have my printer, scanner or camera hooked up yet. Let's hope the rest of it goes as smoothly as the first. :-)

Sue said...

Hi Diane,
I enjoyed reading one of your earlier posts. It's a wonderful gift to be able to laugh when you might feel like doing something else!

PEA said...

Oh dear, I'm glad I'm not the only one who trips and falls flat on her face! lol I loved this post, not because of the embarassment you obviously felt, but now I know I'm not the only one these things happen to! I love the way you write, you are such a hoot and I'm glad we've become friends:-)

Brenda said...

Your family sounds like mine - laugh first, then check for injuries. Glad you lived to tell about it!

nashe said...

heyz... new computer, eh? coolness. must add more tuff on this blog aiite. ahakz.

i woulda laughed my ass off if i fell like you did, you know... hmm i donnoe, its some kinda chain reaction with me. I'll laugh uncontrollably whenever i fall; whether i go bleeding or not. at least you weren't hurt! thank god!