Thursday, March 2, 2006

Irma's Got Wheels....

As of 5 pm central daylight time, March 2, 2006, Jessica officially owns her first car. Tags, insurance, title and the whole shebang. I am not entirely certain how it's possible, but this Mama has a whole collection of emotions galloping around unchecked----I am, at any given time, in various combinations---happy for her, scared to death, proud, apprehensive, missing her already, misty-eyed, joyful for her, worried about her, and several feelings I can't quite find the vocabulary to put into words. Mostly though, I am happy and proud for her. I find I am very emotional about this, and I confess, I didn't really expect to feel this way now. When she goes to live on campus at college, yes, but over her getting a car? Just those apron strings stretching out thinner, I guess, till they're so thin, they snap. Mama's 'ittle Baby is almost grown up, and I suppose the root of the whole matter is fearing she will not just grow up, but grow out of needing Mama anymore. After taking care of her for over 18 years, it's so hard to turn over the "keys" of control to her, and let her prosper or fail by her own decisions. I just realized that unconsciously, I suppose those car keys symbolize not just freedom to navigate for her, but also as keys to controlling her own life. In a way, I am relinquishing to her the keys to being in control of her life. I no longer will make most of the decisions for her.

Man, when I sat down to blog, I never expected to get this deep with the car thing. This has kind of blind-sided me, to a point. I just needed to talk it out for myself, I suppose, and you got emotionally hi-jacked and forced to go along for the ride, no pun intended, lol. :)

On another note, went to Jonesboro for my monthly shopping today. Nothing earth-shatteringly important to report there. Same old, same old. I am so glad it's done, though. I dread being on my feet for that long, and I have to go Monday and get groceries. Oh, joy.................I have most of the stuff put away, but I still have to put up the cat food and a few other things, and change Candy and Dolly's potty pan later. :(

Mar reported in earlier, everything is fine on that end. He is going to drug court with his brother, Mark tonight. Mark is a drug counselor and parole officer for Tarrant County, Texas. What he sees in going to drug court is way beyond me, folks. I would rather be beaten with a big stick than forced to sit through all the drama and bizarreness. Not my thing at all, in person or on TV, either. Different strokes and all that, I guess.......

Talked to Bill last night, and have some news to share on Polly. Her carotid is not as bad as they first feared, they think maybe medication, excercise and diet will help that. But her leg is totally blocked, and she has to have about a foot of the artery or vein replaced. They go to see a cardiologist next week, and surgery is planned for the 14th of March, I believe he said. He said they are saying 2 days in the hospital, tops, barring complications. Hot dog, don't tell this old fat Baptist girl that prayer don't work!! I told Bill that all the girls knew about it, and all the rest of the family, plus I put them on the prayer list at church last night, and we are all praying for them. Bill got real emotional, and said to be SURE to tell everyone Thank You for your prayers, and to keep praying for them. Of course, since the surgery is so soon, it will be after her surgery and recuperation before they come down for a visit. I am looking forward to seeing them again. Bill and I always have a blast when we talk on yahoo messenger, which we do usually at least once a day, sometimes more. I have really enjoyed getting to know him. Somehow, though, we always seem to end up talking about food, no matter what we started out talking about. It's a running joke with us now, lol. :)

I need to go check on my homemade chili. It's smelling good, folks. Don't know if Jessica and Chris are going to be eating with me or not, still to be announced. If not, they will probably be looking at it again tomorrow night, lol. I may post again later, if the mood strikes me. Later...............Diane

8 comments:

lynne said...

oh girl u are making me cry.bring back all my empty nest times. It gets better ,i cryed for a week when jamie went on sr, trip to fl. i knew she was growing up to,then grad. and moved to ga. all in a month'. Break down city lol
hang in there
lynne

Diane said...

Thanks, lynne......
The rational part of me knows it will be okay, but the scared mama part ain't havin' no part of what the rational part is sellin', lol. ;)

This, too, shall pass......

Love ya,

Corina Bowen said...

I am sooooooooo not looking forward to that!! My sons are 14 and 12... way too close to the "car thing".
Thanks for the info.. and for the visit to my blog! I have you on favorite!!
Oh, by the way.. I LOVE the pics of the flowers!!! I am a garden/blog/fanatic.. hehe

Faith said...

They never stop needing their mama. Don't fret too much.

Yasser Rahman said...

Its a difference in culture..My mum and dad would never let me go! LOL

Nor do I want to leave the house, yes there are times when I dont go home, am travelling, I do anything I want, but at the end of the day its always home I go back to, and its a nice feeling...

:)

Diane said...

Corina,
I have you on my favorites, too! Thanks so much for visiting, and commenting. I get such a rush when someone thinks my blog is worthy of their time. I enjoy your blog, and I am reading back through your archives. Please visit and comment anytime, and welcome. I will try to post more pics of my flowers as they bloom. I love flowers of all types, too.

Diane said...

Faith,
I have you on my favorites, too. I am making my way through your archives, and I do enjoy your blog. Welcome, and make yourself at home. Feel free to visit and please leave a comment, it does give me a little thrill to know someone likes my blog enough to visit from time to time.

Thanks for the comment. I will be glad when Jessica gains a little more appreciation for my feelings. Right now, she just rolls her eyes and heaves a big sigh when she catches me bawling, again, :)

Diane said...

Yasser,
I was surprised but very pleased to find your comment on my blog. I would think that the blog of a 42 year-old American Christian woman might be the last you might be interested in visiting. Mainly because of the age difference. My 18 year-old daughter thinks this is about the lamest thing her Mom has done lately, :)
I suppose it is very UN-cool to be interested in anything Mom and Dad might have an interest in, :)
I am flattered that you found my blog worthy of your attention, and thank you very much for the comment. Please come back anytime, and feel free to comment or ask questions.

It speaks greatly of your Mom and Dad that you respect and love them, and that you enjoy being with them at home. Some day, you will marry and make your own home, and they are preparing you well for that day.