Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I saw this on my friend Green Eyes' blog and asked her permission to use it here. I love the message, how it speaks to a woman's heart. No credit was given to the author, and it's unknown to me.


A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."


Barb, Addie, Lauren, Tammy and several other fellow bloggers have posted recently about their varying feelings and experiences with blogging. Many are feeling overwhelmed, trying to post every day, read and comment on their ever-expanding blog rolls, and respond to comments on their own blogs. Opinions about blog nettiquette span the spectrum. Some bloggers have hard and fast rules they follow, for others, it's anything goes. I have commented on some of my friends' posts, but I don't think I have ever just blogged out my feelings regarding this subject. I'm sure some of my feelings and practices will change with time and experience, but for now, here is how I feel about blogging. More or less. Other than what I forget to include or think of later, that is.

I blog first and foremost for myself, then my family, then my blogging friends, in that order. Some bloggers are very prolific and may post multiple times in a day. BooMama and Tammy come to mind in this category. Some may only post once a week or less. I fall somewhere in the middle for the most part. I may blog twice a week or twice a day, all depends on what there is to blog about or what's happenin' in Diane's little world. I'm perfectly happy with that. Sometimes I want to see how everyone responds to what I've posted, so I wait a day or so before posting again. I will confess, though, that most of the time I wait a day or so because it takes that long for me to come up with something new to post about. If you like what I write, I love to see your comments. Who doesn't like compliments or to feel affirmed when someone agrees with your opinion on a matter of great importance, such as whether to put sugar in cornbread or not? (Read the comments, too.) But if you don't like my writing, that's perfectly fine, just click on that little red X in the top right corner of your screen. If you comment on my posts, I'll try to comment back if you ask questions or something you said tickles my fancy. I just told Barb that I'm getting so many comments at times it's hard to find time to answer each one. So, if you comment and I don't comment back, it's not that I don't read each and every comment, it's just getting overwhelming trying to respond to each comment every single time. Most of the time I reread your comments several times. I LOVE your comments. But, I don't get all bent out of shape if your URL shows up on my Sitemeter and you don't comment. Many times I have time to read your posts, but not to comment. Or, I may not have much to say about a particular subject, so I just move on to the next blog. Doesn't mean I don't like you anymore or I'm offended for some reason. Hey, I just didn't comment, okay? Please don't be offended, and I'm not offended when you do the same thing here. I understand totally. I know from my Sitemeter that I have several people who regularly lurk and read my blog, but don't ever de-lurk and comment. That's perfectly fine with me.

I also read a few blogs where the language is a little salty from time to time so I don't have them on my blogroll. I like to keep my blog family friendly, and I'm planning on joining a family friendly blogroll soon. Some blogs have salty language, but I don't want it on my blog. I don't go to their blogs and preach to them, so I appreciate that they don't cuss on my blog.

On a different but related note, I have had a few bloggers surf in and leave comments and when I paid a courtesy return visit to their blog, I encountered some things I don't agree with. To make this clear, I'm not talking about my regular visitors and those on my blogroll, but a select few from time to time. In those cases, I don't comment on their blog. If they comment on mine, I'm polite, but I don't return their visits. I don't want to offend anyone at all, so I won't say what those things were that I disagree with, but it's my prerogative not to visit their blogs. I don't want to offend, but at the same time I don't want to give anyone the impression that I agree with or support some practices and lifestyles that are out there. If you don't like my blog, just move on, and I reserve the right to do the same with some blogs out there.

For the most part, almost all of my experiences blogging have been good ones, with the exception of dealing with Demon Blogger. When I don't enjoy it anymore, I'll quit or modify my blogging someway until it's a positive experience again. I have a few blogs on my blogroll that are inactive now. I'm going to do some rearranging and drop some of those. In no way do I want to offend anyone, but life is all about change. I will add a blog here and there, and drop a blog occasionally. I don't do this arbitrarily, with the intention to hurt, but to tailor my blogging to my liking, no other reasons. I have just about all on my blogroll now that I can keep up with and say grace over. I don't want to do like a few bloggers have done and get so overwhelmed that I just throw in the towel and quit blogging altogether. That means I'll have to do some blog housekeeping from time to time, and maybe take a break here and there.

For now, though, I love blogging. I love all my blogging friends, both s0me newfound friends, and some who've been with me from the first. I appreciate ALL of you, and you add so much to my life. I'm thankful for each of you and that God has allowed us to cyber-meet. I hope to meet many of you In Real Life. Who knows, even a year ago I would have never dreamed that I would become so close to some of you through a computer, of all things!

May God richly bless you and yours, and may He meet all your needs. May you love and be loved, my dear family and friends.

I love you. :-)


Sue said...

I loved your "women's tears" Thank you for sharing that.
There are so many ways/styles of blogging and just as many ways to handle the people that visit.
When I add a new person to my sidebar, I try to treat them as I would any real life friend. With very few exceptions they treat me the same way.
I enjoy the behind the blog friendships that have developed from commenting to each other.
Great post Diane!!

Faith said...

Love the "Woman's Tears." Awesome!
appreciated your take on blogging! It should be something we enjoy and take pleasure in. Stress is not good!!! ;D

Dick said...

I pretty much agree with and follow your approach to blogging. I have had times when I have only made one posting in a week and other times when they come a lot more frequently. Mostly it seems to depend on what I am doing. How many days in a row could I blog about waking up, eating breakfast, checking the Internet, reading, etc. etc. etc. Better to say nothing than to bore those who do stop by.

Paulette said...

I loved this post. It was educational for me because everything you mentioned I wondered about. I feel so many of the same ways you do.
May I ask? Like when someone leaves a comment on my site like I am doing here, is it better to write them back like you do here or email them thanking them for visiting? I usually go to there site to thank them but I do not know what is the best way. I notice alot of bloggers do it like you do here but what if they dont come back to read it? Just wondering.
This was awesome Diane.

Barb said...

I loved the "women's tears" too. Beautiful. And I like your attitude. A lot. You have a down to earth approach to it that will resonate with a lot of people.

And Paulette raises a good question. I've come across some people who always reply to my comment with an email. A few people reply to comments right there in their comments. Like, say, MOI! I do that a lot. But like Paulette, I wonder if some of them come back to see if I remarked on their comment. Or am I commenting on their comment right into thin air.

Good grief. I wonder how many times I can say "comment" in this comment before I'm done.

Anyway, I personally use both approaches. Well, three, really. I usually respond to a comment right there at the scene of the crime. If it's a first time visitor, I go to their site right away and thank them for stopping by and read a post or two and leave a comment. In some cases, like, oh, say, BOOMAMA, I've been known to spend two days reading archives! But as she would say, maybe that's just me.

Sometimes I reply to a comment by sending an email. Most of the comments I get are non-reply comments. If it seems important to me to reply privately, I check their profile for an email address. I get a lot of quick questions from new bloggers about how to do things. Someone out there, some totally confused person, started the rumor that I know anything about this AT ALL.

So to make a short answer long, Paulette, and you too Diane, if you didn't walk away from reading this about mid-point, I don't think there's any nettiquette. I just reply to comments with whichever one of these three options works best for that particular comment. (Is that a word? Whichever?)

Sigh. I said comment 15 times in this comment. Oops. Make that 17 times I said comment. Oh shoot. 18.

And that's all I have to say about that. I'm gonna leave now before I start repeating myself. Who knew there could be so much to say about comments. Dadgum it. 19.


Jess said...

Mom, well I liked the "woman's tears" so true....men just don't get it...and I don't even have kids. Anyways..I just learned alot from reading your post....I guess I will really have to think on who i would like linked on my site....but I do agree with you 100% about the ways of blogging...if someone doesn't like it...well no offense but its not their blog....they can kiss your big toe....but its probably smelly..lol j/k..anyways...keep on keepin' on as long as it tickles your fancy. Love you...Jason says love you too.

Tammy said...

very well said Diane!!!
I can relate on so many levels...so many times in near frustration I have wanted to throw in the towel, but like you have found a little housekeeping and adjustments that noone should take personally fit the bill instead. I have a love/hate relationship with blogging.
Don't know why that is, I have not identified it to myself yet...but when I do you can be sure I will blog on the subject...lol!
my main thing is thinking I "have to" return all comments even to blogs that are not my cup of tea. I mean the gal's are nice on my blog but their blog is ran with their beliefs and they differ from mine and I sometimes wonder, what in the world do they find in mine, since we are "so" different?!?
Thanks for addressing this subject.

Connie and Rob said...

I had to copy your "Woman's Tears" to my sister and niece. Very nice.

My blog is just for me and I have the control of who I let in my world. I am very family oriented and friends that I have made through blogging I really cherish. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. All the rest of the blogging stuff I guess I just don't pay attention...


Lisa said...

Loved that! (women's tears)

I hardly ever respond to comments on my blog - sometimes I'll just do a whole post on a question. I honestly very rarely go and check back on a blogger's comments that I've already commented in, so I assume that others do the same. I wish Blogger had it where we could email the person who commented - I like that approach a lot better.

Anyway, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Sometimes it gets to be a chore, but if I take a break, I seem to get my desire back.

One thing I am refraining from is joining more rings or adding more blogs. It's just too hard to visit the ones on my blogroll as it is!

squire said...

I too try to keep my blog "family freindly" but being a "guy" it is not prudish. Life is to be enjoyed and I also visit some sights where the dialog is a little salty. I seldom leave a comment on those sights.

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

Very well said. One of my favorite things about you (sounds like Julie Andrews a bit doesnt it?) is that you are LOW maintenance. Simple, not easily offended. So nice in a friend. Even the cyberspace ones. Blogging should be fun, not high maintenance, sitting and fretting over if we're doing it "right", often enough, too often, etc.

I also noticed on your sidebar it shows when someone has a new post. I love that! No idea how you did it, but worth checking out. Esp for those people who visit you and dont have bloglines installed yet.

Youre just the best. xoxoxo

Brenda said...

Loved "A Woman's Tears". I'll have to email that to my mom, who'll forward it to everyone in her address book, including me. Someone on her list will send it back to her, then she'll forward it again... but hey, this one's worth passing on.

I like your blogology (blog ideology), and my approach is similar. I don't always comment on comments on my posts, but I do try to visit those who do comment. I figure everyone else is just as busy as I am and has their own blog to maintain, so I don't expect them to return again and again to see if I've replied to their comment, unless they've raised a question or said something that grabbed me. I also figure there are those out there like me who can't always remember where they left which comment. LOL. I need a way to keep up with where I've been.

Like Barb, in situations where a private response would be better, I'll send email or leave a request in their comments that they email me. Unlike Barb, I've kept my use of the word "comment" in the single digits. (7) (c;

So how do you get your sidebar to do that new post thing?

Love ya, girl! Have a glorious day!

Mountain Mama said...

The tears story is really nice. So true.
I'm glad you posted some blogging info. When I was a new blogger this info would have been a big help to me because I didn't have a clue. I still have a lot to learn but like you I blog for myself, sometimes I bumble through a post and laugh at myself later, but it's supposed to be fun.
When the fun stops, so do I.

Naturegirl said...

Diane very well said!Bravo! Blogging must be a persoanl satisfaction in anything we "choose" to participate in. For me it's time to decompress review my photos ponder my feelings about life around me.It's very theraputic getting it all out and a bonus as you mentioned meeting "cyber friends". We all are like flowers in the garden beautiful together but each so different.We have the choice to pick the ones we like. I did see Green Eyes post on "why women cry" so true all of it..I love the line "eyes doorway to her heart." so very true! Lovey post :)

Addie said...

I think you and I have very similar blogging practices Diane. Very Willy Nilly, not a lot of huge expectations. I like that.

Now, I will be checking back here every 30-45 minutes to see if you have responded to this. ;-) (hee, hee)

PEA said...

Hugs Diane!! This was such a wonderful post, starting with the very touching Women's Tears! I read with interest your thoughts on blogging because I too had noticed how so many of the others have "burned out" and need to take a break. It's sad to think that blogging can make one feel that way but I can understand it too because at times I also feel overwhelmed, not with posting posts because I always have something to say (lol) but with trying to visit all my blog friends' posts...I've since calmed down and visit a few when I have a spare moment and do that on and off throughout the day. Usually by the end of the evening, I've visited everyone:-) I was spending 3 hours in the morning trying to get to everyone...now it's only when I have time. Much better that way! If someone new comments on one of my posts, I go visit them to thank them but if I don't care for their blog, I don't return even if they return to mine...I would much rather concentrate with the blogs I feel comfortable with. Great post as usual my friend...and I'm still laughing at Barb's comment...she's a doll:-) Take care!! xoxoxo

Lee-ann said...

Diane Hello!
I too love your "women's tears" the world is a wonderful place when you are able to simply "be a women"

I will also tell you I find there is only one true reason why I blog and am enjoying blogging is making those true friends around the world and beyond <^..^> (smiles)

They may not visit every day, they may not see you every week but you know they are out there and when you make contact like true friends you catch up and go on again!

Being very new at blogging sharing my week and my family and my life style is a way of reaching out to those who have similar lives.........what a wonderful gift this is!

Your blog and as always your post is lovely!!

BooMama said...

I think there's a point where blogging can cease being a hobby and start to feel like a job. I, like you, want for it to continue to be fun. Lurkers don't bother me at all - because I realize that some people read for entertainment, not interaction. I'm always grateful when people comment but understand when they don't...and while I would LOVE to reciprocate every comment / visitor I have, I don't think there's a way to do that without blogging taking over my life. It's a balancing act - like everything else, I reckon. :-)

Anonymous said...

nice. will comment later!

nashty said...

that was me, D.

Val said...

Can I just say to your wonderful post (and most interesting comments) one word: amen.

Merle said...

Hello Diane ~~ May I have your permission to post "A woman's tears"?
It is really lovely and although we have several os the same readers, there may be others to enjoy it.
I enjoyed reading your views on blogging and agree with many of them. It does get overwhelming at times, and I can never seem to have an early
night, so may have to cut back.
Take care, Merle.

Dawn said...

I have read that before and love it. I appreciate your comments about blogging. I don't think anyone should become burdened by blogging. That doesn't seem like a sensible way to live. But I can see the possibility of being overwhelmed. I must guard against that. You made a lot of sense to me! I have enjoyed our cyber acquaintance very much.

Yellow Mama said...

That piece was so good, and so very true. Smiles and blessings...YM

lori said...

This was a wonderful read! I am enjoying your blog.

melissa said...

hi. i've been here a couple of times reading your posts and i'm not sure i left a comment so i wanted to this time. i enjoyed this post and your reasons for blogging.

Shelley said...

You have a very nice blog. I came to see you by way of Pea. Nice to "meet" you.

Merle said...

Hello Diane ~~ Thanks for your visit and OK to The Woman's Tears. I will
post it one of these days. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Take care, Merle.

Melanie said...

Thanks for sharing the story about a woman that you found. I had never read that. I think you expressed yourself about blogging very eloquently. Sweet and gracious. :>)

Nasty Nashe said...

ok. here i go.

Whoo, i read that before, and i remember nodding alot as i read it.... i dont consider myself a woman yet, but i bet that doesnt matter! haha.

I'm not a hardcore feminist, but I'm amazed at what women can get up to. they (we?) are brill.

healing hoves said...

Just started blogging and was came across your blog. It is very nice. Have been isolated for many years due to emotional abuse and it is nice to find real wonderful words to get my heart back into wanting to become public again.......thanks Sonja Brooks