Saturday, June 17, 2006

Oh, Puh-LEASE ! !

Toni had a new post on her blog earlier today about a site she had found that compares your (or any photo you submit) photo to celebrities and gives you their picks for those you resemble most....... In their OBVIOUSLY BLIND opinion, that is. After Toni's unfortunate experience, I had said in her comments that I would avoid the site at all costs. But after reading Barb's post about her celebrity look-alikes, I decided to try it, just for kicks. Well, let's just say, I got kicked.

This photo to the left is the one I submitted for comparison. Okay, everybody ready for this? The top match for my photo was Lena Olin, whom I have never even heard of before. Apparently she is an actress. Ironically, my first name is Lena, although I use my second name, Diane, except for legal purposes. Uh.....I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T SEE IT, FOLKS!! And trust me, it gets worse. Oh yes, it does! Ready for the next victim? Okay, here it comes.

This pretty lady of color is Marion Jones, Olympic Gold Medalist. I'm sure everybody can see how much we favor. If you look at those picture from, say........Abu Dhabi, that is!!! I'm dark, but not quite that dark, and she is showing teeth, which I do not in that picture at all. We do have the requisite number of noses, eyes, etc. but that is about as similar as we get to one another.

Our next victim is Shirley MacLaine. She has been around long enough that I think everyone knows who she is. Barb was even KIND enough to say that she saw a resemblance between us, but I don't see it. In case you haven't seen a pattern developing here, I haven't seen a resemblance to any of them. The pattern continues with the fourth and final one. The comparison to end all comparisons, folks. Everyone that needs to visit the restroom should do so now, and those with weak bladders should make sure your Depends Undergarments are fresh and dry. Also, have plenty of tissue on hand for the laughing fit that is about to ensue, and please do not drink anything for the next few critical moments, as I can testify that Diet Coke and hot coffee DO NOT feel at all pleasant when they come out your nose.

Drumroll, please.....Andre, where are you when I need you, you drum-playing wizard, you? Ready? Here she is, people, HEATHER LOCKLEAR ! ! I think it's glaringly obvious that we were somehow separated at birth, don't you? I mean, just compare the two pictures.....We could be twins.....Or even triplets, considering the extra weight I carry, LOL. ONE of my legs weighs more than she does, for Pete's sake! I don't think even our Eyebrows look alike, much less our faces. And I'll stop the comparison right there out of consideration for the weak-stomached among my readers.

Now, consider with me that this is supposed to be facial-recognition software that does this analysis. Does this mean if Lena Olin, Marion Jones, Shirley MacLaine and Heather Locklear have the facial-recognition software on the locks of their homes that I look enough like them to gain entry into their homes? Even more disturbing is that some of our most sensitive government military and research facilities use this software for their employees to be admitted to their jobs, some of it TOP SECRET stuff. Scarey, ain't it?

Okay, I was brave enough to go to the site and see who I look like, how about you? It's your turn. Go HERE, and then tell me who you look like in my comments, or blog about it and leave me a comment so I can check it out. Thanks to Toni for giving me and Barb the heads-up about the site. :-)

My Father's Day post will be up either late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. Happy Weekend, everybody!

14 comments:

Mike Goodwin said...

I'm up for it. I will submit a pic after work. I'm almost afraid of who it will compare me to. I just hope it's, in the very least, all guys. :-)

Barb said...

I figured out the Heather thing, Diane. It's the cheekbones! Really! Look again! Is this just too ridiculous? And I still can't believe they couldn't match my little Shih Tzu to Sally Field. xoxoxo

Andre said...

Condoleezza Rice.

Yes. You heard me correctly.

Condoleezza Rice.


It's official. I'm done with blogging! :)

Another terrific post, by the way...

Brenda said...

Oh Andre, It could be worse - at least Condi is attractive. My husband was matched with Camilla Parker Bowles. Thank your lucky stars.

Brenda said...

Diane, I do see Lena Olin in the eyes and nose, and the dark hair.

I tried a few different photos. One of my matches was some guy named Pedro and several other "celebrities" I've never heard of.

I'm thinking of switching my profile pic to Cindy Crawford, since, you know, I look so much like her.

Have a great Saturday!

Toni said...

Oh, too much fun! Thanks for sharing, Heather.

Barb said...

I'm still impressed with Shirley McLaine. Perfect match! Brenda, Camilla wouldn't be so bad if she'd see a dentist every 20 years or so. Oh! And fire whoever makes her hats.

owlhaven said...

I tried this awhile back and it errored on me about 3 times...maybe i will try it again and see if the fixed whatever glitch it was..

Mary

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

I can totally see you look like Lena. Im being serious here - I think its the nose and the lips. So that verifies that Chelsea and Sally Fields DO look alike...I havent tried this yet (not home enough) but will, cant wait to see who I look like...

Leslie said...

I had someone draw a caricature of me once. Never again. Evidently if they think your eyes are the most dominant feature you will look great. But in my case they thought it was my nose.

Johnny said...

I don't believe it! I sent my best photo and it said I looked like Lucile
Ball and next Willie Nelson! What a combo but it did give me a 10% on Cary Grant...lol. Oh Well...thanks for letting me tipe on your paper.

Johnny said...

ok after that one with me I tried my family members photos and here is what I got.
Donna (my wife)- Slakira 63%
Kim Basinger 73%

Josh (middle grandson) Shirley Temple
John Belushi

Luci (granddaughter) Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jamie Lynn Spears

Tami (daughter) Edith Stein (actress died in 1941)
Christina Ricca

Donna (wife) Slakira
Kim Basinger

Jon (oldest Grandson) Leonardo DiCaprio
Rachael Leigh Cook

Jessica (your daughter) Carrie Underwood
Kim Cattall

my dog "willie" Lassie and Gabby Hayes

Lisa said...

LOL! I've been meaning to do this but haven't yet. Seeing what others were paired up with are funny too!

momteacherfriend said...

Um yeah...who are these people I supposably look like? Rachel Blison and only 59% what??